Pendleton & Colt

Pendleton Baker had a great imagination, but even it was easily exceeded during his first day working at NASA. He had spent most of his life daydreaming about the awe-inspiring ideas that were made into realities there and he just knew that the brilliant people in charge wouldn't disappoint him in the least. In fact, Pendleton was certain that his acceptance into mission control's department of orbital operations was a summation of his entire thirty-two-year existence, one spent in absolute devotion to science.

However, that notion changed soon into his second day at NASA, when Pendleton was introduced to Colt Bronson, his company-assigned bully.

Colt had called in sick on Pendleton's first day, which was supposed to be Colt's first day too. He had decided to go cliff diving and hit a few bars with some buddies instead, ending up with a terrible hangover when he reported to Buzz Aldrin for work on Tuesday morning.

"Glad you could finally join us," the legendary astronaut said to Colt. The bully sheepishly stood in Buzz's office doorway.

"Sorry, coach. I guess I caught something over the weekend."

Buzz leaned in across the paperwork on his desk. "Well, I hope your illness didn't get in the way of all that cliff diving fun."

Surprised by the accusation, Colt couldn't contain the guilty expression that washed over his face. "Gosh, how'd you know?" he said.

"I have my ways," Buzz replied. He figured that if Colt was stupid enough to post the pictures on his public Instagram account and not realize that his boss could see them, then why should he give up his source? Buzz leaned back and smiled. "But don't worry, Colt. I ain't gonna ding you for that crap. I was young once too."

At this, Colt couldn't help but smirk. Buzz continued, "Alright, that's enough gabblegocking. Let's go find that pipsqueak Pendleton you're s'posed to terrorize."

Pendleton's attention was focused on the ceiling when Colt and Buzz approached his cubicle. He was attempting to hang a fern over his desk, standing on his office chair and trying his best to keep it from swiveling as he adjusted the screw that was to hold the chain of the fern's basket.

"Okay, Pendleton," the second man to ever walk on the moon said. "I'd like to introduce you to Colt Bronson. He's going to keep you in line and make sure that you fly straight 'round here, so to speak."

"Oh, but I've already met my supervisor, Mr. Aldrin. Do you know Mr. Stevenson? His office is right over there." Pendleton, his hands still full of the fern machinations, quickly nodded his head twice in the direction of Stevenson's office.

Buzz and Colt exchanged a knowing glance. Looking back to Pendleton, Buzz spoke slowly, as though he were talking to a child. "Yes, Pendleton. Mr. Stevenson is your supervisor. That is correct. But you see, Colt is not a supervisor. He is your bully."

"My what?" Pendleton assumed he had misunderstood the astronaut that he admired so dearly. He hadn't noticed any bullies the day before, as many of them, like Colt, chose Mondays to call in sick.

Colt placed a hand on Buzz's shoulder. "I got this one, coach." He walked over to Pendleton, who was still balancing his weight on top of the office chair. "Hey, Pendy. The name's Colt, but you can call me 'sir'. Now, how shall I put this?" He tapped his chin in mock contemplation before finally snapping his fingers. "Oh, right. I'm going to make your life a living hell."

At that, Colt grabbed the back of the chair Pendleton was standing on and yanked it, causing it to swivel wildly and fling Pendleton and the plant into the air. Pendleton's trajectory knocked several items off of his desk before he crashed to the floor. The fern landed hard atop his head, causing the wild green leaves to cover most of his face.

"Nice," the man known as THE Buzz Aldrin said. He looked at his Apple smartwatch. "Okay, I'm late for a propulsion lecture. Catch you later, man." He high-fived Colt and made his way out of the cubicle farm, where several other NASA employees were either trying to behave as though they hadn't just witnessed the dangerous prank - or too busy appeasing their own bullies to notice.

Colt cracked his knuckles and stood over Pendleton, who was still trying to figure out what had just happened.

"Listen, rocket boy." Colt said. "Here's what I like: cold beer, tangy barbeque sauce, and the sound of a crowd chanting my name. Here's what I don't like: people forgetting my birthday, jellyfish stings, and science geeks like you."

Pendleton, fern fronds still obscuring most of his vision, nodded. This wasn't his first Colt Bronson.

"And what do you call that thing on your head?" Colt said, pointing to the plant.

Pendleton tilted his head a bit so that he could meet Colt's eyes. "A fern," he said.

"A fern," Colt said, already working on an exaggerated impression of Pendleton's voice. "I don't like ferns either." He barked out a quick, hoarse laugh and looked around. Returning to his own voice, he said, "Okay, Pendy. I'm gonna knock off a bit early today, let you continue to get settled. Tell you what - we're both professionals here - I'm going to give you the courtesy of not forcing any dough outta you on a daily basis. But I'm gonna need a loan upfront. Whatever you got in your wallet right now should cover it."

Before Colt had even reached "wallet" in his sentence, Pendleton began reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out his billfold and handed over the thirty-eight dollars he had brought to work. The basket with the fern fell off during the maneuver, leaving a small pile of dirt on top of his head.

"Cool. This should cover a pretty good lunch and maybe some of that cold beer we were discussing." Colt dropped two dollars into Pendleton's lap. "Here. Treat yourself to some chips and a soda if you want. Don't say I never did anything for you."

Colt then crouched so that his eyes met his coworker's directly. Pendleton could see the rage that seemed to constantly bubble just below the surface of Colt's face. He found it unsettling.

"So, that's it for now," Colt said, lowering his voice into a dry monotone. "Nice to meet you, Pendleton. I look forward to working with you."

He smiled without joy and made his way to the exit, snaking through the tiny maze of cubicles that made up the orbital operations department. Along the way, he nodded hellos to the other NASA bullies and twice threw up a clenched fist to make other "nerd" employees flinch.

Pendleton knocked the dirt off of his head and climbed to his feet. He was taken off guard at first, but he quickly regained his composure as he tossed the fern and basket into the garbage bin by his desk. He sat down and pulled out his drafting notebook. At the top of the first page he wrote "COLT BRONSON".

He had decided to blow off setting up his work area for the week. Instead, Pendleton wanted to figure out how to get something into Colt, maybe a small electrode or mixture of chemicals, that would make a sip of cold beer feel like he was getting stung by a jellyfish. It wouldn't be easy, but he was fairly certain it could be done. Science was something that Pendleton loved, and science had never let Pendleton down before.